And the Saga Continues...

The journey begins with a single step
Purposeful with intent yet with surrender
Only then would the map show itself
Only then would we know the way

Yes 'let it be' is key
Without surrender who would be
The God's laugh at our plight
As we dance to their tune

Along the way I learnt humility is key
Along the way I learnt surrender is key
You are right, along the way
I forgot how to 'let it be'

If I ever share my deepest thoughts
The struggle of being stuck in vacuum
Not moving forward, not moving backwards
Not knowing what to do

And then like magic it was clear
And forward I continued to move
My biggest fear is stopping again
My biggest fear is struggling again

And as I exist here with you
I realize I am struggling again
And then you came along and opened my eyes
For I realize I have to 'let it be'

The Curious Case of the Stuck Tongue!

A song from a bollywood flick has taken my attention span..completely for the past few days. After hearing it a million times, i began to dissect why it became the so important suddenly. While the lyrics are no doubt beautiful and truly romantic, i was transported to another very familiar place! The inability of a human being to exactly communicate what he is thinking / feeling to another in exactly the way he does! And further, his inability to comprehend the words and body language of the other...and life goes on!

I participated in a workshop last month that is helping me shape my thought process or should i say my ability to not let my thought process interfere in my life. A certain inner voice keeps croaking on my right shoulder, telling me things i should not be thinking, giving me insights i should not be having and sometimes the opposite. If you ever try it out, bring your awareness to what your mind tells you, its crazy. You will be surprised by the amount of traffic out there. Thoughts flying in and out, a million a minute, completely distracting you and taking you to another world, far, far away from the reality of today.

Finally after processing whatever we can process, when it comes to spelling them out, almost all of us kind of find a permanent glue on our tongue...isn't it! Stuck, permanently, when it matters the most, in simple relationships of give and take, in simple moments of saying what you feel, in simple moments of saying I'm sorry, I love you, I understand, I am with you, I get it, I meant to say and so on,  communicate openly, communicate with a free mind, letting the other know exactly how you want to say it and exactly what that means. Fact is that  most of us somehow get stuck on this path, the curious case of the stuck tongue, lost!

For almost a month now, i have been trying to practice just this. Say the most difficult things even if they lead to further breakdowns, with the  hope for break-through and acknowledge the now, here and now. So i started a diary - list of people i need to call and say the things i have never said, list of promises i broke - to others and myself, list of unreasonable things i can do everyday to break through my own barriers and chains around myself and then slowly ticking them off, one by one...

Everything just boils down to the now. Here and now and everything else is just an illusion. Even then it is the toughest thing to do, even when it is intellectually stimulating but never having the courage to actually practice.

Bit by bit, i keep putting it into practice, inch by inch i move up and then move down as i tango with my own self...
 

Hope

Like the beautiful butterflies
Buzzing freely in gay abandon
I seek that ability
I seek that purity

My mind restricts
Often constricts
Often wanders
In unwanted places

You touched my heart
So strong, so pure
Towards Earthly things
I am pulled

I feel stretched
I feel conflict
But for the first time now
I had clarity

Wandered through space
For thousands of years
Searching for the purpose
Searching for truth

It appeared out of nowhere
Suddenly one day
Guiding and pointing
To permanent hope

Yet I am pulled
So strong so clear
Earthly things, attachments
Wonders of the world

I try and fight hard
I fight strong
Just need a little help
To keep going on

Let's go on our journeys
Separate they are
Knowing and supporting
Through the storm

The promised land is within
That's loud and clear
The journey so tough
Yet well within reach