Alone

How alone can alone be?

What needs are unfulfilled? 

The stories we tell ourselves 

The expectations we have of others 

The waiting, the brooding, the feeling of being incomplete 

While all is already complete 

Man finds a way to feel sad 

When sadness is just a created emotion 

Man feels sorry for himself

When there is no reason to be so 

Why promiscuity?

When that fulfils nothing at all 

What is a soul-to-soul connection? 

Is there really one? 

Complete is complete 

It does not need x to complete it 

It’s just an aberration 

It’s just an illusion 

Nothingness makes fullness

Nothingness makes completeness 

Nothingness is not nothing 

It is full, complete and brimming 

Only if man sees it so 

Nothingness is everything 

The Divine Mother

 She gently caresses as the light breeze of the night

Sending energy of peace and joy

She comforts through life’s struggle with the sound of flowing water 

Refreshing the exhaustion all at once 

She comes through in dreams of love

Sending messages of all being ok 

She sends forward wonderful friends 

Making life feel worthwhile 

She shines through the bright North Star

Showing the path ahead 

She embraces with love and light 

Showing she is right beside us

She is love, kindness and spirit

Invoking the same in us 

She is awareness and gratitude 

Making us whole and complete 

An Ode to my Tribe

My heart is happy as I think of you 

For you filled it with joy 

It sparkles like the bright California sun 

It dances like the mystical waves of the sea

It sings the songs of life and love

For it found its peace

 

My heart is happy as I think of you 

For it feels the feelings you do 

It cries with you and laughs with you 

As you traverse the path you bear

It connects with you and beats for you 

For it found its tribe

 

My heart is happy as I think of you 

For it found its place in the world

It expands and expands for you

So it can sometimes carry you through

So it can sometimes be with you

For it found its role 

 

My heart is happy as I think of you 

Cause it wishes the universe for you 

For every dark night you go through 

Remember it sends you love and peace 

Every day it beats with love for you

For it found its soul

 

Thank You!

Every moment of our life is a learning opportunity from ourselves or others. It is not only formal education that gives us learning opportunities but every interaction, every incident, every moment where hindsight may make us feel that we could have handled something differently.

I am a firm believer of life itself being an opportunity for learning, learning at all levels – spiritually, cognitively and emotionally. It is for us to recognize these lessons and their meaning in our life to evolve further and progress on our journey.

I also believe that all relationships are of give and take, people come into our lives and move on and re-enter as and when we are ready to receive more and grow. This is true of both good and bad relationships. All of them teach us something. It is our wisdom or lack of that helps us move on and grow or live in similar patterns creating similar outcomes in our lives.

It took me a while to realize this and use every opportunity and incident as an opportunity to learn and evolve. Today, I care deeply about these experiences and am ever so thankful for them. As I look back, there have been many positive influences on me that have shaped me into who I am today. Every time I look back at my life, a certain component of it comes to mind. It really is impossible to recollect every incident each time. But each that comes to mind has its own lesson. The grade III Hindi teacher who hit students on their knuckles with a duster taught me to be kind, the grade V Math teacher who shamed me for scoring 58 in retrospect taught me courage to face difficult situations and overcome them, my grandmother’s addiction to every news transmission on the radio taught me how to be thorough, a dog being hounded by young boys for fun taught me compassion, working parents taught me independence, my daughter’s following me around in her early years like my tail taught me unconditional love, my dog waiting for me at the door every day of her life taught me loyalty, my favorite cousin walking away from my life taught me acceptance, my brother’s love, encouragement and gentle nudging to do more taught me confidence, my husband’s support gave me wings, my mentors at work at different times of my life taught me to be grateful, to forgive, to make mistakes and learn from them, to honour my word, to fulfil my commitments, to soar as high as I want, to pursue my dreams, to try out anything I want to and so much more. My friends taught me to laugh, to be myself, to enjoy little things, to be there for the other.

I am sure if I think harder, longer, I will find many more lessons of life, people that taught me to be who I am today. And then there would be many who may still not come to my mind for no real reason and certainly not for their lack of contribution, but just because I am human and didn’t get reminded of them today.

I spent some time today interacting with one of my favorite mentor who has always inspired me, encouraged me to do more, push myself, taught me so many life lessons and continues to do so even today. My lesson today was to go out and appreciate others, acknowledge their contribution in my life, tell them that they matter to me and humbly apologize for any inadvertent miss that was not meant, close the loop and move forward, celebrate and learn together, pave the way for more endearing and deeper relationships in every way possible. This one is therefore for you. Thank you!

The Light

Often times I gaze up to the stars
Often times looking for the way
A familiar colour or shine
A familiar path, they say

And then I stop to listen
Familiar path, familiar sounds?
Really, is that the way?
For that just makes you stay

The now, mindfulness
Here and this minute
Time not withstanding
Time is never real

Who lives in this moment?
Who is here today?
Are we just not on our own?
Looking for some solace?

Then the star twinkles
Letting it's aged secret through
Come home, dear one
You are just about through

Spaces

Everyday I live through faith, uncertainty, honesty, love, sadness, expectation and many more
Every night I wander through the left overs, incomplete states of being
Living many lives, dreams, duties, aspirations, commitments
Exhausted yet hungry for more
The cycle is endless and layered
The more you peel, the more comes out
The cleansing process cuts deep
The hope that the horizon is near

They say we experience life to experience growth
Everyday, every interaction an opportunity to learn
Every action opens up a new path
Sometimes an upward spiral, sometimes straight down the depths of despair
Often, I sit and wonder
About the balance and harmony around me
About creation, expression and lessons learnt
About movement towards the goal

They say your external world is a reflection of your inner
Your surroundings an expression of you
Easy gauge of your state in life
Easy way to know your progress
Being in action keeps you moving
Even then surrender and alignment is key
The universe plays mysterious games of hide and seek
Spaces we traverse each day and night

At the end of every long, hard day
I go over all the roles I played
What happened, happened, states of being
I look forward to another day
Longing to surge ahead again
Seeking forgiveness and alignment from all I touched
Letting go
Being unconditional love and compassion








 

Free Will

Everyone has a story in their life. It spins on and on and gives meaning to everything that happens to you. It is almost the reason why you live, breathe, plan, hope, look into the horizon, dream and love. It defines you, your actions, your belief systems, your very existence. The story holds the key to the reason why you are. It takes you to the highest highs and the lowest lows because you see life only through the glasses that tell your story. Cause life occurs to you only through that story, there is no other reality. And life goes on.

From childhood to adulthood, from dreams to reality, from hope to existence. The universe actually plays out your life for you, the way you want to live it, the way you create it, the way you see it. It is often said that your external world is a reflection of your inner world. What you declare becomes reality. What you commit to, is yours. Miracles happen, every moment and every day of your life. Affirmations and declarations are the source of the miracles and you are at the source of the affirmations. It is for you to decide whether your story creates miracles or obstacles for you.

That deep knowing, the story of your life, the reason you exist is the magic in your life. It just takes awareness. The Indian scriptures especially the Gita talks about the famous battle between brothers, depicting the battle of the good and evil, right and wrong. A deeper understanding actually reflects the battle as our own internal struggles, with ourselves, our rights and wrong, our emotions, senses and the sense of purity or goodness itself. The battle is actually going on inside us and that creates our external world (depending on who or what is winning or losing inside us).

So every time something goes wrong around you, in your environment, take a look inside and become aware. You will have your answers. More proof about your story of miracles or obstacles, as you see it. An awareness about your self and your power of creation. A reality that exists through the power of declaration, a universe that exists to create the magic in your life.

Free will, my friends, can alter your story and change your external world through accountability and responsibility, in your inner world.

You are Cause in the Matter

Everyday I wonder about being

Everyday i wonder about life

Is Life, Life out there?

Or is Life what i create?

Doubting, sulking, passing the blame

Hurt feelings, always expecting

Giving power away, everyday

Self critical, unhappy, Humanbeing 

Seeking salvation for peace

Seeking freedom from life

Seeking whatever isn't

Seeking forever and ever

The truth so clear

I am cause in the matter

For everything I create

For everything I experience

Life is really simple

If you just see the truth

You are cause in the matter

For Life, period

Life begins with you

Your experience is created by you

Life gives you all you ask it

You are cause in the matter

It can be pretty and peaceful

It can be enchanting and delightful

It can be anything you want

As long as you believe

Taking accountability is key

Taking responsibility is key

You are cause in the matter, my friend

Don't you see reality?

Free Spirit

Sunflowers, happy faces, pristine, peaceful, calm

Lush greens, foggy plains, fresh smell of the Earth

Miracles…miraculous….miracles

The human form but a microcosm

Uncertainty, sensitivity, deep anguish, rejection

Loss of connection, unbearable

Fear of losing the purpose

Fear of repeating a pattern

Tears brimming, almost

Self control, strong, 

Is the purpose lost?

Is this the hardest lesson?

Fear again, the one to not fear

Love and compassion is the key

Rejection, distance, separation

Loneliness

Experience is the key to life

Suggested a travelling soul

Makes sense surely, why resist

If experience is the purpose, after all

Silent Spectator, on your journey

Planning your paces ahead, mercilessly

Finding words and thoughts for self assurance

Might help cross this bridge

Don’t resist, don’t fight

The message repeated loud and clear

Did it mean experience and learn

Or did it mean, hold on, need more time

Shock predominates

Unexpected truth

Oversight

Misunderstood?

Unable to accept

Signs all over

All cant be made up

There must be a moment of sincerity

I will not doubt

I believe

Belief is the essence

Belief is the spirit

Difficult none the less

The winds of change

Free spirit, yet again

On its journey

The Power of Choice

I spent the afternoon and the early part of the evening yesterday feeling very powerless, feeling I had no control over what is happening in my life and blah. And then a miracle happened. I went to a seminar I am attending and learnt a very important distinction about life yesterday - The Power of Choice.

Decisions, they say are after careful consideration while Choice is choosing freely after considering everything. Now that's interesting. Isn't it? So when one takes a decision, the power is transferred to the reason that favoured the decision. Car A because of better fuel efficiency or Car B for better price. The power in these decisions are because of the fuel efficiency or the price and not because of you.

In Life, of course, if the power is with someone or something else, then we don't feel great, do we? Here comes the Power of Choice. When you choose something after all considerations, for what it is and what it is not, the power, my friend, is with you! The minute I got this, I started feeling so much better and so relieved :) - the power of choice leaves the power with me, not in semantics alone but in reality. When I choose someone or something in my Life for what it is and what it is not, I take accountability for it completely - the happiness I get from it and also for how it makes me sad because I chose freely despite and inspite of the considerations!

Just looking at things like this has opened a whole new perspective for me. I choose freely after all considerations and still choose you for what you are and what you are not!

The Power is finally with me!

Violated Again

She carries a load on her chest


She tends to her responsibilities


She compromises each time, unasked


She solutions each time


She worries incessantly for one and all


She lives a selfless life

Yet she feels violated each day


Yet she bears the brunt of lost tempers


Yet she gives herself up to daily lust


Yet she is the boxing bag for misplaced tempers


Yet she is violated each day


Yet she bears silently each day

If she raises her voice


She is unduly silenced


If she walks out with her head high


She is selfish and not a family girl


If she takes a moment for her needs


She is insensitive to family needs

She works as she is someone’s property


Literally and figuratively


She lies down and spreads her legs


Literally and figuratively


She is raped countless times by her own


Literally and figuratively

Many a religious sanctity


Debar her for a moments peace


Many a conservative family


Debar her from choosing free


Violated again and again


Every day

Some of these gruesome acts


Make the news sometimes


Yes, brutal acts


Uncalled for and undone


Justice deserved certainly


But for violations across the board

When will we rise


From our egos and pride


When will we respect all


For simply being alive


When will we, when will we


Be equal?

And the Saga Continues...

The journey begins with a single step
Purposeful with intent yet with surrender
Only then would the map show itself
Only then would we know the way

Yes 'let it be' is key
Without surrender who would be
The God's laugh at our plight
As we dance to their tune

Along the way I learnt humility is key
Along the way I learnt surrender is key
You are right, along the way
I forgot how to 'let it be'

If I ever share my deepest thoughts
The struggle of being stuck in vacuum
Not moving forward, not moving backwards
Not knowing what to do

And then like magic it was clear
And forward I continued to move
My biggest fear is stopping again
My biggest fear is struggling again

And as I exist here with you
I realize I am struggling again
And then you came along and opened my eyes
For I realize I have to 'let it be'

The Curious Case of the Stuck Tongue!

A song from a bollywood flick has taken my attention span..completely for the past few days. After hearing it a million times, i began to dissect why it became the so important suddenly. While the lyrics are no doubt beautiful and truly romantic, i was transported to another very familiar place! The inability of a human being to exactly communicate what he is thinking / feeling to another in exactly the way he does! And further, his inability to comprehend the words and body language of the other...and life goes on!

I participated in a workshop last month that is helping me shape my thought process or should i say my ability to not let my thought process interfere in my life. A certain inner voice keeps croaking on my right shoulder, telling me things i should not be thinking, giving me insights i should not be having and sometimes the opposite. If you ever try it out, bring your awareness to what your mind tells you, its crazy. You will be surprised by the amount of traffic out there. Thoughts flying in and out, a million a minute, completely distracting you and taking you to another world, far, far away from the reality of today.

Finally after processing whatever we can process, when it comes to spelling them out, almost all of us kind of find a permanent glue on our tongue...isn't it! Stuck, permanently, when it matters the most, in simple relationships of give and take, in simple moments of saying what you feel, in simple moments of saying I'm sorry, I love you, I understand, I am with you, I get it, I meant to say and so on,  communicate openly, communicate with a free mind, letting the other know exactly how you want to say it and exactly what that means. Fact is that  most of us somehow get stuck on this path, the curious case of the stuck tongue, lost!

For almost a month now, i have been trying to practice just this. Say the most difficult things even if they lead to further breakdowns, with the  hope for break-through and acknowledge the now, here and now. So i started a diary - list of people i need to call and say the things i have never said, list of promises i broke - to others and myself, list of unreasonable things i can do everyday to break through my own barriers and chains around myself and then slowly ticking them off, one by one...

Everything just boils down to the now. Here and now and everything else is just an illusion. Even then it is the toughest thing to do, even when it is intellectually stimulating but never having the courage to actually practice.

Bit by bit, i keep putting it into practice, inch by inch i move up and then move down as i tango with my own self...
 

Hope

Like the beautiful butterflies
Buzzing freely in gay abandon
I seek that ability
I seek that purity

My mind restricts
Often constricts
Often wanders
In unwanted places

You touched my heart
So strong, so pure
Towards Earthly things
I am pulled

I feel stretched
I feel conflict
But for the first time now
I had clarity

Wandered through space
For thousands of years
Searching for the purpose
Searching for truth

It appeared out of nowhere
Suddenly one day
Guiding and pointing
To permanent hope

Yet I am pulled
So strong so clear
Earthly things, attachments
Wonders of the world

I try and fight hard
I fight strong
Just need a little help
To keep going on

Let's go on our journeys
Separate they are
Knowing and supporting
Through the storm

The promised land is within
That's loud and clear
The journey so tough
Yet well within reach

The Essence of Life

The teachings of many spiritual masters, columns like the speaking tree and more recently the video i saw on you tube - Anita Moorjani https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1VG7895XnU - her personal account of death after life and life after death are an inspiration to me on how to live my life, here on Earth and in the now!

Our fear of death, illness, solitude, what might be if..etc all lead us to become far more complicated human beings than we ought to be. We forget to live in the now and always worry about the future, about how life would be if we had this and that, if happiness would find us and on and on. As a result, we often lack that spark, that energy, that twinkle in the eye and a jump in our foot steps as we go about our life everyday.

I have been trying hard to live in the now for about a year although i must confess it is a rather daunting task. If we were to channelise our energies (read our mind) to the here and now instead of running in 20 different directions (or even more) for some of us, life would be far more stress free and fun. So what is living in the now? Living each day as if there was no tomorrow? Or identifying our big rocks in life and commit to them the time and energy that would make today meaningful and worthwhile? Or just living in the present and fulfilling our responsibilities? Or taking each day as it comes with a commitment to give ourselves to it, truly enjoying its presence and each moment.

It probably may be all of the above and since i am still no expert at it, i thought of sharing my experience and learning over the past year.

• Life is here and now, the future is the choices we make today
• Above everything else, if we respect and love our own self (find our centre within us), we would be at peace with ourselves
• Before we build expectations from others, if we were to only begin to fulfil our expectations to our own selves - towards our body, mind and soul

The essence of life is to truly live it here, now, today, at this moment. Our positivity and vibrations only make our environment and surroundings more positive. What we give out to others is what we receive back from them. The more we chase something or someone, the farther it goes away. The moment we let go with grace, the universe finds ways to bring the same thing back to us.

A close friend asked me to test this by watching my thoughts for a few minutes everyday. As i started doing this, i realised that even though i want to be positive, a lot of my thoughts were not necessarily so. The key is to ignore these unwanted thoughts and instead truly focus on the positive ones. The more positive thoughts come in, the more they multiply around us. The more they multiply around us, the more we see things working for us and around us. A true upward spiral till we dwell on that one negative one and everything comes crashing down all over again!!

The essence of life is to be able to stay with positivity, here, now, today and truly love everything around us unconditionally, starting with our own selves. The key to life is really no hidden message. It is the art of living, here and now.

I try everyday and one day, i know, this will be my only way, unconditionally.